Monday, August 27, 2007

We've started a new series at church called, "One Life." In a nutshell, it's about the one life we are given, what we do with it, where we choose to go, how we choose to get there...

We were created to reflect the image of God. Everything we do is supposed to reflect His image. Attitudes, actions, everything. I'm not going to get into the whole deal because, while I totally "get it" and believe it, I'm not eloquent enough to put it all down here, nor do I have time. Besides, my two readers already know it anyway...

So, anyway, I'll just say this: Today was a day I was REALLY struggling with my reflection!!!! Granted, my reflection probably always has a wave or crack or two, but today was pretty ugly. I suppose, however, that it's a good thing that I recognize this. I had a phone call from a patient today who really tried my patience. She even had the nerve to tell me I cussed at her the last time we spoke. Now, I'm certainly not perfect and I've been known to let a less-than-appropriate phrase fly on a rare occasion (thank goodness I only have two readers who haven't known me all that long...), but, I would NEVER cuss at a patient. (Not that it's okay to cuss at anyone.) Anyway, that really set me off. I told her - in a very stern manner - that I DID NOT cuss at her, and I do not cuss at patients...all the while thinking to myself that today might be the day. She wore me SLICK. I suppose, in hindsight that while stern and, well, somewhat loud, I wasn't rude, hateful or mean. But it was just one of those conversations that left me feeling like I had no reflection at all.

Later on in the day, my boss told me she thinks I should plan on working 8 hours a day for a while until I'm caught up. HA HA HA HA...caught up. HA HA HA HA. My desk doesn't get "caught up." My desk is a gremlin. Just add a small dose of my boss and it multiplies!!!! Now, let's keep in mind that I worked 11.25 hours today. I was working at 6:00 - a.m. AND p.m. And it's because I've actually gone in the office every day since I went back that I'm "behind" (and that isn't even a good term - swamped, but not behind). I get much less done in the office than I do at home. Too many people interrupting me for nothing...Ugh. Anyway, that conversation certainly didn't improve my reflection...

The highlight of my day: picking Evan up from daycare. He had an up and down day. I did get to watch him for a few minutes when I got there to pick him up. He was so cute, playing with purple tamborines! (Did I spell that right???)

Posting Again

I am really going to try to post regularly. I just find myself with no time and MANY jumbled thoughts. I think I need to read Liz's more...I need to remind myself that it doesn't have to be set, specific, orderly...just what I want to say.

So last week was HECTIC. I had a thousand different things going at once and I really thought I might have a nervous breakdown.

I took Evan by his new "school" a couple of times in the mornings just to say hello and start getting familiar so he wouldn't be in total shock when he started. Then after that, I would take him back to Liz's. That isn't that big of a deal - if you don't have to get to work someplace, too. Across town, back and then across town again to go to Oklahoma City...all before 9:00 a.m.

I also had the pleasure of going to the fabilous Norman High School to enroll Mike and try to get his schedule arranged if I could detect "issues" in advance. (Of course there were issues...) I can honestly say I will be SO GLAD when he is out of there. I just hope we don't have the same issues with Evan. Ever feel like you're just getting singled out??? I could go on about this issue, but I'll save that for another time.

Oh, then on Thursday I had to take Mike to court. Again with the singled-out issue.

And by the way, when my kid is wrong/bad, I admit it. And he hears about it. But I AM a Momma Bear and if you try to mess with my cub when he doesn't really deserve it...I will come after you. If people want to make "examples" of kids, why don't they do it with kids who are really BAD? Not the ones who carry a hat around (as opposed to actually wearing it, which is suddenly against school rules)?

Again, I'll save it for another day.

I really can't remember the weekend. I know it RAINED again, thanks to Tropical Storm Erin. Parts of Oklahoma got 9 inches. My office mate lives close to the South Canadian River and she's still having issues and it's been 5 days.

Church was GREAT on Sunday. And two of my friends came!!! I was SO THRILLED!!!! I just hope they keep coming back.

Evan and Daycare...

Okay...so Evan started daycare at an actual facility on Monday, August 20. That was very traumatic - for both of us, but definitely for me. I'm used to him being at an in-home daycare, which I was totally comfortable with. Switching has been very hard the past couple of days! I don't feel like he isn't safe or that they won't take care of him...I just have this "thing"...I don't want him to feel unloved or unwanted - by anyone. Does that make sense??? I just don't want him wandering around somewhere like...well, like I don't know what I mean. And I have this fear of walking in and seeing him sitting by himself, crying, feeling and looking lonely. That would devastate me and, most likely, I would quit my job and stay home with him - even if that meant living in a box because I quit my job...

I am smart enough to know that these thoughts and feelings stem from when Mike was a little one and the horrible places he went. I will not talk about that anymore. He knows. And boy does he know how sorry I am...

So, enough dramatics.

I suppose, really, the new daycare situation has gone fairly well. Yes, he has cried. (So have I.) Yes, it has been a shock to his system. (Mine, too.) But, overall, I think it's okay. We'll just see how things go over the next couple of weeks.